Grrrr. Don't you just hate it when you type this whole thing and then the web page you were typing on just refreshes and everything you typed just gets lost? GRRRRRRRR! So now here i am typing everything again.
Last night i had a seris of dreams that were all very realistic but all turned out wrong. Which doesn't sound good. Sometimes when i have dreams they end up coming true. LOL those dreams better not cuz im going to all of those places today where my dreams took place, and i don't really want everything turning out all bad.
It's cold out today. My window is closed and the heat is on and my hands are still like ice and my feet feel like they're about to fall off.
My turtle is happy even with the cold tho. I didn't want him to freeze so i pointed my lamp towards his tank (and that lamp is majorly producing heat) and he's just chilling on his rock facing the lamp and looking at it.
Grrr! when will danny come online?
~Figgie OUt!
some people can be soooooooo horrible. But at the same time, it's those horrible people that let you know that KArma exists. I was the first person to get to class and then rite after me mike comes in sits down and spits on the chair next to him. And who then walks in and without saying anything sits down in that chair? Elijah. I would have stopped him, but why get in the way of karma? As the Klingons say "revenge is a dish best served cold" lol i luv being a trekkie.
I just got back from Darylanna's house. We went to the mall, ate chocolate chimichangas and watched friday nite stand up. We also got our hands on face paint so we sat around drawing things on each other. I also taught her furby to say "gringo go home" :-P
Tuesday there's no school cuz of veterans day. !!!w00t!!!! That means monday nite rachel can stay up late. n sleep late. Lateness is good cept when it comes to the cycle. Im in no mood for children. :-P
Iggy (9:46:54 PM): poo
iamjustagoldfish (9:47:05 PM): poo?
Iggy (9:47:13 PM): yeah
Iggy (9:47:17 PM): how are you
iamjustagoldfish (9:47:23 PM): im peechy!
Iggy (9:47:33 PM): coool
iamjustagoldfish (9:47:44 PM): wanna meeet me in the city tomorrow?
Iggy (9:48:02 PM): i'd love to but unfortunately im going home this weekend
iamjustagoldfish (9:48:07 PM):
Iggy (9:48:17 PM): yeah...
Iggy (9:48:23 PM): what are you doing in the city
iamjustagoldfish (9:48:43 PM): NY comedy club @ 8pm
Iggy (9:48:53 PM): ooo neato
iamjustagoldfish (9:48:58 PM):
Iggy (9:49:07 PM): is that on the east side
iamjustagoldfish (9:49:11 PM): yeppers
Iggy (9:49:32 PM): how was your weeek
iamjustagoldfish (9:49:42 PM): tiring
Iggy (9:49:56 PM): me too! i had a virus
iamjustagoldfish (9:50:17 PM): awwww poor iggles
Iggy (9:50:19 PM): did you see matrix like several times already?
iamjustagoldfish (9:50:28 PM): yes
iamjustagoldfish (9:50:45 PM): n i still don't know what to say about it
Iggy (9:50:58 PM): hehe
Iggy (9:51:02 PM): that seems to be a lot of people's reactions
iamjustagoldfish (9:51:22 PM): werd it was that kinda movie
iamjustagoldfish (9:51:37 PM): lol it looked like they ran out of budget towards the end
Iggy (9:51:49 PM): serious
Iggy (9:51:55 PM): i bet with all those special effects
Iggy (9:52:13 PM): but how much worse can it get, the dialogue is already pretty bad
Iggy (9:52:51 PM): i dont know what im talking about
Iggy (9:52:59 PM): just like the movie
iamjustagoldfish (9:53:04 PM): lol
Iggy (9:53:07 PM): ugh
iamjustagoldfish (9:53:21 PM): i would have done it better
Iggy (9:53:23 PM): i got so little sleep this week cos i was up coughing and obsessing, im delirious
iamjustagoldfish (9:53:25 PM): (the movie)
iamjustagoldfish (9:53:34 PM): aww poor baby
Iggy (9:54:43 PM): *cough*
Iggy (9:54:47 PM): *cough cough*
Iggy (9:54:53 PM): are you writing another blog entry
Iggy (9:55:22 PM): i have an urge for fries
iamjustagoldfish (9:55:45 PM): yes i am writing one now.
iamjustagoldfish (9:55:53 PM): ((hehehehe he has no idea)))
iamjustagoldfish (9:55:58 PM): i like fries. now i want them
Iggy (9:56:16 PM): i like the red/orange kind
Iggy (9:56:22 PM): i dunno why theyre that color, but theyre good
Iggy (9:56:39 PM): by the way, do turtles have teeth?
Iggy (9:56:44 PM): mine's been biting things
iamjustagoldfish (9:57:16 PM): i dunno if turtles have teeth like we do, but they do have chompy things.
Do turtles have teeth?
~Figgie OuT!
My day today? Spiffy.
Danny P (9:09:36 PM): hey
iamjustagoldfish (9:09:39 PM): ello
Danny P (9:09:51 PM): how are you doing?
iamjustagoldfish (9:10:38 PM): im peechy and you? I saw the first on the earth ever imax showing of the Matrix revolution today
iamjustagoldfish (9:10:55 PM): lol i cut skewl and went to the city to see it. I was dodging truancy cops left and right! I met old friends on the train! It was blis! mwahahahahahahahaha!
Danny P (9:11:04 PM): how was it
iamjustagoldfish (9:11:13 PM): i reserved the tickets months and montha in advance!
lol i
iamjustagoldfish (9:11:21 PM): am so rocking it!
iamjustagoldfish (9:11:41 PM): it was very well, it was the matrix
iamjustagoldfish (9:11:50 PM): u'll have to see it to know what i mean
iamjustagoldfish (9:12:01 PM): THIS IS MY WORLD! IT"S MINE!
Danny P (9:12:26 PM): i have an idea as to how it all comes together, but i guess i'll just have to see it
iamjustagoldfish (9:12:51 PM): all the theories were wrong! u have to see it! OMG!
iamjustagoldfish (9:13:14 PM): i got invited to a private screening of Bad Santa tomorrow but i have work
iamjustagoldfish (9:13:20 PM): sucky
Danny P (9:13:35 PM): well i'm basing my guess on hindu and buddhist philosophy so maybe i'm wrong
iamjustagoldfish (9:14:19 PM): nope. there were so many friggin references to Jesus. I also made a few holocaust connections too. as in the machines were nazis
Danny P (9:14:49 PM): the whole concept of the matrix is hindu philosophy
iamjustagoldfish (9:15:06 PM): true but not true
iamjustagoldfish (9:15:11 PM): just see the damn thing
Danny P (9:15:45 PM): yeah, but no one wants to go until saturday night, at which time i will be at the comedy club with you
iamjustagoldfish (9:15:58 PM): hehehehehe
iamjustagoldfish (9:16:05 PM): believe me. the movie can wait
Danny P (9:16:10 PM): i know
iamjustagoldfish (9:16:45 PM): no really it can wait till its out on DVD
iamjustagoldfish (9:16:49 PM): lol
Danny P (9:16:56 PM): no, i want to see it
iamjustagoldfish (9:17:10 PM): ok then but it's ur money lol
Danny P (9:17:26 PM): are you saying that it isn't worth the money to go see
iamjustagoldfish (9:17:28 PM): I CREATED THIS!! DOWN HERE I AM G-D!!!!!!!!
iamjustagoldfish (9:17:48 PM): lol well i guess see it but im my opinion wait till video or see it on imax
iamjustagoldfish (9:17:56 PM): lol 4 the special effects
Danny P (9:18:02 PM): oh
iamjustagoldfish (9:18:35 PM): i went with andy, al, devin, joe m, and regina, and andy's uncle jeff
iamjustagoldfish (9:18:51 PM): you'll meet some of them at the club i think they bought tickets
LOL I HAD SOOOOOO MUCH FUN!
~Figgie Out!
Election day. mwahahahahahahahaha! Yay so i woke up sooooooooooo early at darylanna's. seriously. i woke up at like 7something. werd. so the day was kinda cool (well obviously i saw an opera)
I also got tickets for the comedy club for this saturday nite. lol so u know where IM gonna be. LOL and darylanna got tickets for the weekend after so lol you'll know where i'll be then too. This saturday im chilling with the godpeople all day and then me and danny and everyone else (including ilyssa and brother zach) SCORE!
LOL i woke up to Maury who's my baby's daddy, and ate breakfast to Jerry Springer i left my dad for my brother. LOL SICK shit but very amusing. So then me and darylanna went to the mall (again??) lol and she bought pants and i drank coffee. Then we went to toys r us so she could apply for a job. Then we went back to her house so her mother could hate the pants daryl bought and take us back to the mall so she could return them and buy new ones. LOL THEN we went to the opera. :-P
The Mikado is a kick ass funny operetta shiz that takes place in Japan n stuff and it was soooooooooo funny. The seats we had were shit so me n her moved to the very front of the tier thingy we were on and to be honest i think those seats were better than any front row orchestra shit because we could see everything. It was the friggin greatest. LOL i felt rich. And then there was this Iranian college student who didn't know anything about music who was doing a school project there and i was explaining everything about opera and music to her and it was cool. Ant then when it was over i went to the orchestra pit and i got into a convo with a violist named Larry. He was kick ass cool. He was the nicest old man musician i ever met. LOL he always plays at the opera and the ballet so next paycheck im going back to see Figaro. :-) I think im just going to pitch a tent at lincoln center and live there. And all through the performance i was thinking Oh my god i SO wanna do that, and oh my god one day im gonna be that soprano and rock tha house down. made me smile :-)
Thank G-d for music
~Figgie Out!
I think i've got a case of the mondays. :-) Nah not really. Today was kinda cool. :-P
People say that's I've been happier lately. And then they're like rachel, im so glad that you life is getting better...... Nah, it ain't. It's not my life that's getting better, it's me whos getting better. (say what?) Here goes. I had this massive and majorly sucky panic attack last night. And not just like an oh my g-d the walls are closing in im going to hide under my quilt panic attack; im talking my skull is shrinking gotta put a bullet thru it while kicking the wall and filling a cup with shaving gel (say what?) all i can say is that it was total freekyDeeky hell. And that my room now smells like i shave people all day. Eitherways after that, i was kinda like, what the hell am i doing freaking out? So yea i think i had an epifany or something like that cuz i was like fuck this and at that moment i think i changed ir something. Like my negative emotion switchy thing was like turned off. It's like when something bad happens i don't get sad i just stare blankly. Yea im sure millions of psychologists are going OH MY GOD GET THE PROZAC!!! but seriously. I think this no being sad thing is working cuz im not really bottling things up i don't think, i'm just ignoring it. LOL anyways it's good cuz then i don't think about it anymore when it's a time where im supposed to be happy. It also cuts down on my complaining. If it doesn't bother me, i don't bother anyone else with it lol. NeverMind. I have no idea what im saying.
So anyways, after work today, i went to the mall with Ilyssa. Right after that i slept over Darylanna's so while i was "malling" i bought some PJs cuz i sure as fuck wasn't going back home, and the PJs are really cute too. :-) i also bought this cute off the shoulder shirt thing with a matching mini :-) and i should say now, that mini makes me look so hot i turn myself on lololol. :-D Anyways i also got these cute communist china camo pants. They make my @$$ look fly yo! (ack! im niggah-speakin again!! **hits self**) Anyways, Ilyssa's brother drove us home (home as in darylanna's) And he is 19, and probably the coolest person on the friggin planet. He has this freaky obsession for subways, which is kinda cool since my bedroom walls are covered with subway maps. :-) So anyways it turns out he only goes to golden's deli to eat on the R too! LOL so i guess im not as nutty as i thought. He's definitely nice too. We're going to go to the city one day just to collect subway maps. LOL and i NEVER thought i could get ANYONE to do that with me. :-)
Oh! and then the day got even better. This dude from temple called and he was like i got these opera tickets for tomorrow and i can go do you want them? And i was like SCORE!!!!!!!! So I'm taking Darylanna with me tomorrow. SCORE SCORE SCORE SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So then im at daryl's house and we're watching the ENTIRE 3rd season of family guy. (on DVD) and it was friggin hilarious. POPPYCOCK! POPPYCOCK!!!! :-P LOL and since i have a room at that house (score) i got to sleep in my own bed (yay tiny tim yay!)
Ack im tired!
~Figgie Out!
Iggy (9:37:57 PM): mm?
iamjustagoldfish (9:37:58 PM): grrrrr
Iggy (9:38:01 PM): sorry i wasnt paying attention
iamjustagoldfish (9:38:15 PM):
iamjustagoldfish (9:38:21 PM): **huggs**
Iggy (9:38:32 PM):
Iggy (9:38:52 PM): im eating soup
Iggy (9:38:55 PM): did i give you my cold
iamjustagoldfish (9:38:57 PM): borsht?
iamjustagoldfish (9:39:01 PM): nah im good
Iggy (9:39:14 PM): i think is matzah ball soup
Iggy (9:39:41 PM): how are you
iamjustagoldfish (9:39:47 PM): u jewish cutie
iamjustagoldfish (9:39:51 PM): im good lol
Iggy (9:40:17 PM): i got bad ass cold
Iggy (9:40:28 PM): so i couldnt visit my mom like she wanted to this weekend
Iggy (9:40:34 PM): so, my mom being my mom, she comes here
iamjustagoldfish (9:40:48 PM): awww that
iamjustagoldfish (9:40:51 PM): is sweet
Iggy (9:40:57 PM): and neurotic
Iggy (9:41:18 PM): my mom, dad, grandmother all came here, wearing those paper masks
iamjustagoldfish (9:41:19 PM): lol jewish moms r like that
Iggy (9:41:20 PM): so they wouldnt get sickl
Iggy (9:41:26 PM): yeah, they are
iamjustagoldfish (9:41:27 PM): ha!
Iggy (9:42:01 PM): yeah so theyre all sitting around staring into space wearing those masks while Im in bed drooling from the cold medicine, and the hamster comes out to drink
Iggy (9:42:12 PM): so the three of them turn and just watched him intently for like 10 minutes
iamjustagoldfish (9:42:16 PM): hehehehehehe
Iggy (9:42:25 PM): yeah i was like...*roll eyes*
iamjustagoldfish (9:42:27 PM): russians
Iggy (9:42:34 PM): indeed they are
iamjustagoldfish (9:42:35 PM):
Iggy (9:43:10 PM): have you known natalee, darylanna and andy a long time
iamjustagoldfish (9:43:31 PM): andy a long long long time
iamjustagoldfish (9:43:53 PM): natalee about 2 months, and darylanna just moved here from alaska
Iggy (9:44:02 PM): just recently?!
Iggy (9:44:32 PM): she's funny
iamjustagoldfish (9:45:24 PM): lol yea
Iggy (9:49:39 PM): *poke*
Iggy (9:49:41 PM): are you bizee
iamjustagoldfish (9:49:54 PM): nope r u?
iamjustagoldfish (9:49:57 PM): im tired
Iggy (9:50:03 PM): i should be bizee but no
iamjustagoldfish (9:50:06 PM): im updating my blogger too
Iggy (9:50:12 PM): oooh
Iggy (9:50:21 PM): i like that thing, your blog is fun to read
Iggy (9:50:39 PM): and you had to break into your house friday night?!
iamjustagoldfish (9:51:32 PM): yep
Iggy (10:00:46 PM):
Iggy (10:01:08 PM): *ehm*
Iggy (10:01:13 PM): i said
iamjustagoldfish (10:02:17 PM): lol sry i was urinating
Iggy (10:02:30 PM): it happens
iamjustagoldfish (10:02:40 PM): i see your and raise you a
Iggy (10:02:59 PM):
Iggy (10:03:15 PM): a;soidjf
iamjustagoldfish (10:03:16 PM): mwahahahhahahaha
iamjustagoldfish (10:03:20 PM): ack!
Iggy (10:03:22 PM): im a little delirious
iamjustagoldfish (10:03:29 PM): lol so take a nap
Iggy (10:03:37 PM): i slept like all day
Iggy (10:03:43 PM): now is my break between naps
iamjustagoldfish (10:03:52 PM): lol
Iggy (10:04:09 PM): it seems like you never have hw
Iggy (10:04:12 PM): do you do yours
Iggy (10:04:41 PM): or are you in senior slump
iamjustagoldfish (10:04:45 PM): nope i have never done a single thing of homework since 3rd grade
Iggy (10:05:10 PM): dont you get in trouble
iamjustagoldfish (10:05:36 PM): i answer every single question and i know more than the teachers
iamjustagoldfish (10:05:57 PM): lol i hate to sound snobbish but im a friggin geius
iamjustagoldfish (10:06:01 PM): *genius
Iggy (10:06:15 PM): well thats pretty good!
iamjustagoldfish (10:06:23 PM): lol
Iggy (10:06:28 PM): so you get good grades cos you participate even though you dont do hw?
iamjustagoldfish (10:06:37 PM): yep and i get 100s on all my tests
iamjustagoldfish (10:06:45 PM): and i never study
iamjustagoldfish (10:06:56 PM): i don't do any school work at home
Iggy (10:07:03 PM): math too?
Iggy (10:07:12 PM): i barely got through calc
Iggy (10:07:37 PM): and that was with studying at home
Iggy (10:07:51 PM): i got an F the first time and an A the second time hehe
iamjustagoldfish (10:08:51 PM): lol aww
iamjustagoldfish (10:08:58 PM): math i hate
Iggy (10:09:19 PM): i hope you dont go awaay for college, ill miss you
iamjustagoldfish (10:09:22 PM): what im persuing in life involves no math
iamjustagoldfish (10:09:52 PM): awwww, u can just move to where im going lol
Iggy (10:10:04 PM): youll take care of me =)
iamjustagoldfish (10:10:33 PM): of course i will sweetie
Iggy (10:11:03 PM): bring all your fish with you?
iamjustagoldfish (10:11:12 PM): of coursew
Iggy (10:12:00 PM): we have a pic together on petri now
iamjustagoldfish (10:12:08 PM): yay!
Iggy (10:12:17 PM): i look like i have some gas in it though
Iggy (10:12:22 PM): you look good
iamjustagoldfish (10:12:35 PM): awww ur too hard on urself
iamjustagoldfish (10:12:40 PM): i think ur adorable
Iggy (10:12:54 PM): even when i have gas! =D
Iggy (10:13:12 PM): dont answer that
iamjustagoldfish (10:13:19 PM): ok cuz im not
iamjustagoldfish (10:14:07 PM):
Iggy (10:14:35 PM): http://petridish.net/picview.asp?picid=177448&sort=DESC&stype=ByPersonTagged&sID1=49
Iggy (10:15:13 PM): i guess lily and natalee dont like each other
iamjustagoldfish (10:15:33 PM): lol u got that rite
Iggy (10:17:26 PM): but andy is loved by all it seems
iamjustagoldfish (10:17:50 PM): yea lol he's like the guy friend
Iggy (10:18:23 PM): and he's not even gay
iamjustagoldfish (10:18:30 PM): nope.
I was sitting at my computer at like 5 and i was thinking, fuck. If i don't get out of this house soon, i'm going to shoot myself. So i call Darylanna and im like lets go somewhere, so she's like my mom is making steak, eat some. so i walk there and i eat steak. her parents are so nice! lol i wanna be adopted by them. lol they said i could have the guest room. seriously!!!! her stepdad is so funny and we were all just sitting there watching nascar, and we were all yelling at the TV and i felt like i belonged there. lol so then me and darylanna went to uncle louie gs on victory and they're really fucking mean there. so we left and went to this place near there called yummy something and this lil old man and his wife owns it and they are sooooooooo sweet and they make the ice cream in the store and they also have good real type food and once i get the exact name im gonna advertise it all the time cuz they're so nice to me! lol i want them to adopt me too. They said i could have the attic. :-P lol everyone luvs me! why the friggadoo can't my own fuckin parents????
Election day is saturday. I always hated election day because i always had an opinion on politics but i was too young to vote. well this election day is my last one where i can't vote. I'm almost at tears because it's like my last year as a kid. That's what makes me different from my peers, they count down till 18 so they can buy ciggarettes and drive, i count down so i can vote. all i know iis that on my 18th birthday, im walking out of my house and registering to vote. I'm such a spaz, but im all into the democratic republicness of me. Everyone says i'd make a good politician, but i dunno. I would rather be like a political advisor, or a campaign manager. or a speechwriter. I'm good at telling people what to say and do, but i can't do politics literally cuz then the other side says bad things about you and i'd cry. cuz im all sensitive like that. A political stratigist. That's my calling lol.
OOOO! i just bought the newist issue of Foreign affairs!!!! So my reading will be occupied for at least 2 days, and then when im done reading it twice i go out and buy scientific american, and then time, and then whatever book i read next. FUCK! I'm such a friggin geek!
DO NOT GO TO UNCLE LOUIE Gs. THEY SUCK!!!!
Now i have to write something else cuz i don't want to end this entry on a negative note. I luv darylanna's family, i love knishes, I'm talking to iggy right now and he's cool.
Today was nice.
~Figgie Out!
What the hell are you doing reading this??? It's a beautiful day outside! go out and enjoy it!
Autumn earth
The leaves are turning colors.
It's like sunset on a tree branch,
an oak leaf dipped in wine. Fluttering to the ground,
who knew death could be so charming?
I took my dog for a walk in Clove lake park today. :-P she was all rolling in the grass and acting so happy. made me smile.
~Figgie out
BLOGGER WINE AND BEER!!!!
Ok here it is. he speaks french, speaks middle english, has the cutest 1920s brooklyn accent, has long hair, grey eyes, plays guitar in a band, lives on SI, has a car, wrote his # on my hand and then when he left it smudged!!!!!!!!!! ARAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! that boy had better call me cuz if he don't im gonna punch sumthin
"When she wants to live her life, and then she thinks about her strife, she holds her head back and she screams. I don't really wanna be the queen."
Halloween. The best and worst holiday of the year. Why the best? free candy, meeting cool people at village parades, an excuse to dress up as a fallopian tube (or anything else for that matter), dancing cowboys in times square, and of course doing all that with friends. Why the worst? The night can go so well and it seems almost too good to be true, and then it ends.
Why the above quote? It's from a song Meet Virginia. LOL that song kinda reminds me about myself. It's like you're doing your thang, ur working hard, and then shit happens, and ur like, I don't wanna do this anymore. I had a realization i think last night. It was sometime between the time when my dad called me on the cell (at 7pm) telling me not to bother coming home cuz he won't let me in (because im at the faggot parade) and if i went home he'd call the cops (ha!) and later that night(err...morining) when i was forced to break into my house at 3am, and sneak to my room just so i could go to sleep when i realized that my parents are some majorly fucked up characters. That's it! my happy realization. my parents are fucked up. REALLY fucked up.
Ok so before i had to leave my house i was IMing to someone about something, but i can't say anything about it because i promised not to, so im just gunna write how i feel about it. There are many types of people and no one person is the same. That can be kinda cool because then you can learn so many things about the world and even about urself. The bad thing about it though is when one person is convinced that the only way to live is the way he/she lives, and that if someone doesn't chose that path in life, that he/she has the responsibility (or just the sheer desire) to convince then to live that way, or cause them harm. There are so many people out there who consider themselves to be good, religious, and nice. It's so sucky tho that some of those people who have the potential to be all cool and all decide to play hitler. Cuz that's really what they're doing. When somebody pulls shit like that to make everyone all the same, i put them in the same catergory as lil ol adolf. Cuz like if u think about it if you are capable of killing someone just because they aren't living the way you think they should, it's because you think that ur better than them.
When hitler first decided that everyone not german is inferior, did he plan on killing all of them? Probably not. It all starts with one.
LOL ok a few things i wanna say about last nite. 1) iggy is NOT a blonde british man. :-) but he is VERY cute. 2) Vampires on ferries named Jordan are very cool. 3) "horney" gay men at parades are good conversationalists. 4) Dom is VERY COOL!! 5) Jorge posada wrote his name in my napkin 6) i saw kill bill again in times square!!!!!!! :-D. 7) Switiching cars on a subway while riding several times at 2am is NOT a good way to pass the time.
With all that being said,
~Figgie OuT!
I have an IM conversation i would like to share with my readers. I have changed their SNs to protect their privacy. (and me from lawsuit)
the first one is fom someone i will refer to as Mr.X
Mr. X- (9:51:53 AM): Hope you are having a good day, Rachel
Auto Response From iamjustagoldfish (9:51:53 AM): school. leave a message
iamjustagoldfish (11:04:57 AM): hello
Mr. X- (11:05:16 AM): hi
iamjustagoldfish (11:05:28 AM): watzup?
Mr. X- (11:06:01 AM): still reeling from our conversation yesterday
iamjustagoldfish (11:06:13 AM): o?
Mr. X- (11:06:57 AM): I frankly didn't like some of the things you said to me when you learned about my age.
Mr. X- (11:07:19 AM): you surprised me
iamjustagoldfish (11:07:36 AM): how so?
Mr. X- (11:08:16 AM): your reaction suggested there was a shift in how you perceived me and it was in a more negative direction.
iamjustagoldfish (11:08:59 AM): well it's just that i thought u were younger. i thought i was talking to a different generation.
Mr. X- (11:09:33 AM): your response was disappointing.
iamjustagoldfish (11:11:11 AM): dissapointing? what was i supposed to say? wow ur old! cool?
iamjustagoldfish (11:11:29 AM): i was just suprised
Mr. X- (11:11:53 AM): you are supposed to think before you speak.
iamjustagoldfish (11:12:18 AM): ok and i thought u were younger. it isn't that big of a deal
Mr. X- (11:13:53 AM): think about it
iamjustagoldfish (11:14:19 AM): think about it? what the it?
Mr. X- (11:15:10 AM): I am obviously dealing with someone who enjoys the flippant side of life.
iamjustagoldfish (11:17:27 AM): wait a sec. do u think that i wouldn't have spoken to you if i knew u were 40-whatever? well i probably would have, but i would have spoken to u more like if you were my dad as opposed to my much younger uncle.
Mr. X- (11:19:15 AM): I am exactly who I am---age has nothing to do with it, except with regard to the law, which states you are a minor until 18.
iamjustagoldfish (11:20:02 AM): ok fine. but age does have something to do with it a little.
Mr. X- (11:20:31 AM): Tolerance is not only limited to sexual orientation.
iamjustagoldfish (11:20:56 AM): ok, and...
Mr. X- (11:21:39 AM): You labeleld me with a number and changed your behavior. Disgusting.
Mr. X- (11:21:40 AM): and you have yet to realize it was wrong.
iamjustagoldfish (11:21:57 AM): i didn't label u with a number!
Mr. X- (11:22:26 AM): How is that different from some straight guy becoming my friend then all at once realiizng I am gay and has to change his behavior toward me all of a sudden?
Mr. X- (11:22:29 AM): You did exactly the same thing.
iamjustagoldfish (11:22:51 AM): um... no
Mr. X- (11:22:53 AM): think about it.
iamjustagoldfish (11:23:12 AM): im not labeling u as anythign
iamjustagoldfish (11:23:26 AM): the only thing i labeled u as is a Mr. X
Mr. X- (11:23:33 AM): You thought I was thirty something, you thought you were talking to someone of a different generation, then when I told you how old I was you freaed. Dude you are OLD.
Mr. X- (11:23:59 AM): I think I've said enough.
iamjustagoldfish (11:24:45 AM): dude u are old! but i don't care.
Mr. X- (11:25:23 AM): "old" is a value statement. What don't you understand?
iamjustagoldfish (11:25:56 AM): old isn't a value statement. it's an old statement. i don't think any less or more of you b/c ur 40
Mr. X- (11:26:08 AM): especially when you add: but i dont care
iamjustagoldfish (11:26:29 AM): well i don't care how old u are
iamjustagoldfish (11:27:06 AM): u could be 7 or 90 or whatever
Mr. X- (11:27:14 AM): That is NOT how you were last night. I am sorry, I dont play revisionism.
iamjustagoldfish (11:27:54 AM): well i did thik u were youger
Mr. X- (11:28:36 AM): you KNEW i was significantly older than you
Mr. X- (11:28:53 AM): stop the bs
iamjustagoldfish (11:28:53 AM): yea but not that much
iamjustagoldfish (11:29:11 AM): whos wiith the bs? i don't give a damn how old u are!
Mr. X- (11:29:18 AM): good-bye
Mr. X- (11:29:44 AM): try being honest
Mr. X- (11:29:59 AM): I've gotta get back to work.
iamjustagoldfish (11:30:08 AM): listen im sorry if i hurt ur feelings. i didn't mean it
Mr. X- (11:31:04 AM): I am just asking you to think about how you form relationships with people and then when you get to know them, things will challenge you of course, but not to give in to your preconceived ideas.
iamjustagoldfish (11:32:49 AM): i still think ur cool. age has nuthin to do with that. any ideas i had about u had nuthin to do with ur age. the only thing that has to do with age is fiber cereal and wrinkleys
Mr. X- (11:33:52 AM): Well i hope you are being sincere with me. Perception drives behavior, so we will see what happens in the future.
iamjustagoldfish (11:34:21 AM): ?? why wouldn't i be sincere with u? ur Mr. X!
Mr. X- (11:35:22 AM): Be careful, Rachel. Don't join the ranks of the bigots. Not you.
iamjustagoldfish (11:36:25 AM): who u callin a biggot?? im probably the most not-biggoted person on the planet
Mr. X- (11:36:58 AM): I hope so.
Mr. X- (11:37:01 AM): bye
iamjustagoldfish (11:37:04 AM): bye
Mr. X- (11:38:13 AM): *** This user has signed off and is no longer online ***
OK so um....WHAT???? This dude **cough cough** faggot! **cough cough** is definitely of the mentality of a 3 year old! no be honest here! Talking to a 20 year old is different than talking to a 10 year old. if i talk to that 20 year old diffeerently that i talk to the 10 year old, am i a biggot? So if u think someone is 30-something and they turn out to be 40-whatever, you are going to see them differently. not as a bad differently, just as an older differently. when someone is older you can talk about different things with them! that's how it goes. It's funny how people try to put words into mouths.
Am i a biggot? Um....No.... talk about weird. if im gonna think about this dude differently, it's not gonna be because he's old, it's gonna be because he's confusing me, and he's all mean n whatever. i think......whatever!
LOL anyways..... i had to get my blood pressure taken in school. the dude said that i had the blood pressure of an athlete. that's good i guess. im active, but i ain't no athlete! Speaking of athletes, im playin football with the guys sunday..., i gotta find my knee brace!
~figgie out
My government class term project. I know what im doing. and it's going to KICK ASS!!! KK this is what i gotta do. For the project i have to do something for community service. Ok so when i heard that i was like EWW i don't wanna sit in some old people home playing games n stuff, but then the teacher told us that we could design our own project and as long as it we spent at least 20 hours on it, and it benefitted the community it was good. So i was thinking. Then i remembered that when i had watched the movie "bowling for columbine" (a good movie u should see it) some of the stuff in the movie was kinda misleading and stuff, so me being the crazy movie making chick that i am, am doing a movie in response to that movie. BOC was a movie about gun violence and it casts a really negative light on the NRA. Which makes me pissed cuz as much as i want to kick my father in the nuts, the one thing he did 4 me that was good was to teach me how to shoot straight. Im an NRA chick and the movie cast a very negative light on us. How will my movie help the community? It will educate them about gun owners, the shooting sports, current gun laws, and firearm safety. So that's a good thing! And it'll be a movie made by me, which means it'll also be funny but true and all that! WERD! lol n im getting school credit for this! OOO im having sooo many friggin ideas for this! OOO animations, claymations, realpeoplemations, n it'll be a total (but imformative) parody of the original BFC movie! ha! I rock! So many thoughts going through the rachel head! ACK!!
today was cool. Absolutely nothing happened. Why is that cool? cuz that means nothing bad happened. Work was nothingness, school was nothingness, nothing nothing nothing. whatever! i'm allowed a nothing happening mundane day once in a while. Rachel needed the break. :-)
~Figgie Out
Bang Bang by Nancy Sinatra. I have now decided that it is the best song ever in the world. You can find it on the Kill Bill soundtrack. I am totally addicted to that song. :-) Im making a soundtrack for my life. that song will definitely be included.
Today i have a day off from work so now i have time to just chill out and be all rachel like.
I gotta remember to go back to wagner 9th period to give taylor back her cell phone. LOL the friggin idiot that when the madrigal choir sang last night i borrowed her fone to tell people i was going to get donuts w/ DA so i'd be late. So i run out to the DA's car with taylors fone in my hand. i am such a spaz!!!! so im here with her fone now but i gotta get to wagner at like 245 today to give her back her fone. :-)
~Figgie OUT!
Has someone ever done anything to you or said anything to you that you weren't really mad at? But then when you got home you think about it and you realize that what that person did really screwed you over, or really hurt ur feelings or whatever. well i have! And now im pissed at him royally. You'd think that someone would be more trusting and mature but Nooooooooooo! They're a giant asshole with the emotional devolpment of an 11 year old. So (and you know who you are) if you are reading this, You act like you're 7, you totally screwed me over, you can't keep your fuckin mouth shut, and it's a good thing that i didn't realize what a fuckhead you were until i got home cuz if i had realized it there i would have broken your big ass nose. I feel betrayed too. Did i mention that i feel totally betrayed. FUCK U!
I hate it when im wrong about people.
~Figgie out
Saturday started out to be a really sucky ass day. I woke up late, so i then got to Andy's late. So when i finally get to his house i get stung by a bee. A FUCKING BEE! who the fuck gets stung by a bee in friggin october? I get stung by a fucking bee in friggin october. So then me and him go to temple where im stuckl holding this bag of ice on my collarbone (where i got stung) and it's all melting and miserable. Not to mention that the kid up there for the barmitzvah had MY portion and totally sucked at it (well compared to me anyways) LOL i didn't have any desire to pay attention to anything. I just wanted to be outa there.
The party was also boring as all shit, but me an andy kinda made the best of it. There were no seats left during the cocktail so me n andy used one of those waitery-table-foldy-thingies, and balenced cosmos on our knees. We also snagged these bubble-making-no popping-thingies and made this sculpture out of it. we called it skitzofrennea. :-P we also got these cool ass pics of us in these corney lil frame thingies. :-P :-P
THE COMEDY CLUB!!!! THE COMEDY CLUB!!!! w00t!~*~!!!! So me and darylanna and andy take the ferry at 6:30 and don't get there untill 8. and it's only on 24th. Why did it take so long? because ANdrew is all like: "ok everyone we go thisway now" and then we walk in the direction he says until we get to 6th ave im like Andy, this is 6th. isn't the damn thing on 3rd? So he's like ooops and we friggin hafta turn around. Werd. LOL so we get there and it's FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Also the best pina coladas i ever had. The daquiris were something to be desired tho. But anyone who knows me knows that i like em strong and WERD! those coladas were srtong. :-) rachel is happy. There was this jewish guy who was talking about the E train and batteries and mice and he was soooooo funny! Werd! and they also had that guy that jackie Mason kicked off of his comedy tour because he was palestinian and he was also friggin hilarious. LOL laughter is the only true way to peace.
so then we go to carvel and i get this sundae thats 1/3 icecream and 2/3 hot fudge (just the way rachel likes it) n then we went to this pizza place and it was soo funny cuz these stoners were sitting (and i knew they were stoners cuz they reeked of it!) there laughing their asses off for no reason (or just because they were high) LOL so we were laughing at them because they were acting like such asses!
I had this allergic reaction to the beesting. My temperature dropped like 5 degrees. I was shivering the whle night. Some people would have been like "o no emergency emergency!" but im like whatever. I don't get scared easily. If im still standing im fine. And im always still standing!
I got this rose while walking in Madison Square park. It was a dollar. It was just a ordinary rose they sell on the side of the road but at that moment in time it seemed like the most beautiful thing in the world. I just had to have it. It made me happy. Who ever knew that so much could come from a single $1 rose?
we met lauren at the ferry at like 11:30. YAY 4 LAUREN!! I was cold so she let me wear her coat. (how sweet) lol so there i was on a saturday night, shivering on the ferry with a $1 rose. It could be a cute romantic story if i wanted it to be. LOL but it just isn't :-)
~Figgie Out!
i was forced to go to this barmitzvah party today. it's moments like this where i wish i was Kurdish. Judaism can be such a friggin pain. LOL and believe me; it's not the nazis or the anti-semites that make being jewish a pain, it's the jews who make being jewish a pain. so anyway it was for the son of one of my mothers coworkers. It could not have been a more shitless boring party. Everyone there were JAPs. I HATE JAPS. it's this whole way of life that i cannot (and would refuse to) be a part of. They're so mindless, and spoiled and sheltered and dumb. and the kids of this coworker are just so friggin irritating! one is like my age with the mentality of a 10n year old (but "not retarted") and the other (the Bitzvah kid) is so gosh darn annoying that you want to beat him with a bamboo pole. The dessert (they brought out a giant chocolate fondue pot) was friggin amazing tho!
after the party i watched the presidental debates for the democratic party. I know this sounds "loser-esque" but i always enjoyed presidental debates. And i gotta pay attention to this one. Cuz next year during the primarys and the actual election, im gonna actually be voting. Above all else when i turn 18 i'll be most excited about voting for the president and our congresional rep at the same time! Ack! I'm sich a friggin freako!
~Figgie ouT!
Twas a half day in school today. so that means i get out at 10:02. LOL that's friggin awsome! so after school i went to the deli to get some food. A BEC bagel 4 breakfast(baconeggandcheese) and a eggplant parmigana hero thingy for lunch. (I went to work for the rest of the day.) I had Elijah drag my stuff there for me. I feel bad that i'm dragging him along like an old piece of string, but well, he's still of use to me so im not quite sure im going to let him go. :-) i almost feel bad...that i don't feel bad. hehehehehe anyways, i got to work at 11
After work i didn't feel like going to temple, so i made sure i was in a location where i couldn't get there. (i.e. New Jersey) So then i speant the night chilling online and catching up on my writing and even more importantly bloggering. I added some poems to the writers forum. That was fun. I also ate some chinese food. That kinda made me a lil sick.
~Figgie Out!
Oh my friggin G-d!!!!!!! People are sooooo friggin stupid! Lets start out With people thinking that i care. Everybody is telling me things that i don't care about. Like "so and so got a so and so" and i'm just like "whatever" And people are asking me for advice, or telling me things or making announcements that im like i can't believe this just took 7 seconds out of my life. I could have been eating a burrito. So just for the record, when i say whatever, i mean im just pretending i care you stupid fuckhead! Please, if you are of no use to me, or your news is of no use to me, then in my eyes you are not worth my time. So yea basically what i am saying when i say whatever is "I would think about what you just asked me or what you just said to me but i have better things to do than to waste time on a stupid loser like yourself"
ya wanna know what happened today??? read this IM to find out!
iamjustagoldfish (6:35:41 PM): listen, i dunno why exactly ur mad @ me, different people r telling me different things so let me just clear up a few things 4 u. 1) I never tried 2 get back with elijah, in fact it's the other way around. i keep my distance from him, and he tries to follow me. the guy even got on his knees today, and i still just went into my house. 2) I never cheated on him. 3) I only said he complained about you because he did. 4) i hate jamie and i always will 5) I'm not chasing after Elijah, he followed ME home. 6) I still want us 2 be friends 7) i don't care what type of friendship u have with him, and i never said that u were all over him, and i was never mad about u n him ever.
Melissa (6:36:45 PM): i know im sorry very sorry but u maybe rite elijah may just talkk about everyone!
Melissa (6:37:03 PM): but can i tell u sumthing?
iamjustagoldfish (6:37:15 PM): wat
Melissa (6:37:23 PM): if he does hes fake and also andrew cybulska told me that u sed elijah hits u
Melissa (6:37:31 PM): i was like no watyyyy watt?
iamjustagoldfish (6:37:34 PM): he has
iamjustagoldfish (6:37:36 PM): once
Melissa (6:37:46 PM): when he tried to get the letter from u?
Melissa (6:38:07 PM): cuz thats wat he thought
iamjustagoldfish (6:38:27 PM): that gave me sum brooses, but he also hit me again when i was tryin to get my dog away from him
Melissa (6:38:39 PM): today?
iamjustagoldfish (6:39:54 PM): no, that day when we went bowling. listen i dunno watz goin on with u or him but i don't tolerate disrespect from anyone. from u or him
Melissa (6:40:14 PM): did he talk to u today? cuz u 2 didnt talk in emt and he thinks u ignore him but in a way it takes 2 to make a convo ya kno he can say hi to u
Melissa (6:40:43 PM): i apologized but u do realize y i got mad i mean wat wood u do? u sed he talks shit about me he denies it
Melissa (6:41:19 PM): i mean im telling him u and i have been good frenz forever and i backed u up on the bisexual thing i dont care if u r or arent cuz theres nothing wrong with it
iamjustagoldfish (6:42:56 PM): yea he was mad that i didn't run after him, but i don;t run after anyone. n ignoring someone when there is an issue is really immature and im not going to start something with someone with such ignorance for common courtesy. And i would definitely say without equivocation that you two are the most immature people when it comes to friendships, how to deal with fights, and expecting me to run after things.
Melissa (6:43:53 PM): what did he expect u to run after? i mean how r u supposed to know hes ignoring u when neither of u tlk to each other?
iamjustagoldfish (6:44:42 PM): well i came in before him, and he looked at me and purposely sat next to you and when i was making eye contact with him he looked away
Melissa (6:45:02 PM): i have an idea y dont u write him a letter...................cuz a letter means alot
Melissa (6:45:14 PM): i mean he still has ur box thing u made him
Melissa (6:46:00 PM): and he does think ur a fantasticcccccccc(his exact word) gilr and truthfully if the 3 of us can b frenz without any worries than lets be! u 2 should either get back together or b friends
iamjustagoldfish (6:46:11 PM): i ain't writing anything, if he wants to reconcile that's his job, i am not taking responsibility for anyone immaturaty.
iamjustagoldfish (6:46:33 PM): he's too boderline bipolar
Melissa (6:46:37 PM): exactli but now tell me what happened todayy u2 walked home together?
Melissa (6:46:39 PM): lolol
iamjustagoldfish (6:46:49 PM): no he followed me home
Melissa (6:46:58 PM): and wat hsappened?
Melissa (6:50:56 PM): wow im assuming alotttt!
Melissa (6:55:16 PM): ..............................?
iamjustagoldfish (6:57:18 PM): he kept talking and i was like "no, you can't ignore me all day and expect me to be all happy to see you." and he was then like "but baby, blah blah blah," so i said so why is it that for the past 4 days you ignored me in school but then when no one was around u talk to me" and he said that he wanted to keep school different from private life, so then i said that gives u no excuse to treat me like shit, so he was all apologizing, then he tried to stick the whole thing on me and try to make it my fault by saying that i should have tried to see what was wrong with him and that i was letting the relationship die.
iamjustagoldfish (6:57:22 PM): so i said that if u want to not talk to me then why should i bother b/c u wouldn't say anything anyway, and if you were just ignoring me to see what i would do (which he later admitted to) then u're literally the most pseudomasculine bastard on the friggin planet with the IQ score of like 75. So then he was like baby i luv you and i was like i gotta go 2 work. so he got on his knees and i walked to work. speaking of which u were being quite immature urself and i don't tolerate any disrespect from anyone. Silent treatment mite have been ok for 3rd grade, but i have moved on from there. yes u were assuming alot and i hate to say this but if you assume you make an ass-(out of)-u-(in front of)- me
Melissa (7:01:11 PM): yes i know that all butttttt rachel deatr u know i love u soo muchhh
Melissa (7:01:21 PM): seriousli since the 1st day we met ............
Melissa (7:01:35 PM): but elijah is pretty believable telling me u say this that watever
Melissa (7:01:36 PM): ya kno
Melissa (7:02:00 PM): but thats not y i was mad i was mad cuz i feel like i set u 2 up for disasterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
iamjustagoldfish (7:02:31 PM): well if sum guy is gonna come b4 our friendship datz ur perogative
iamjustagoldfish (7:02:47 PM): so its my fault u setme up for disaster? pleez
Melissa (7:03:05 PM): na it aint that cuz i am not like that
Melissa (7:03:14 PM): no i didnt not ttyhink u 2 were gonna start datingggggg!
Melissa (7:03:18 PM): u shuldnt have
iamjustagoldfish (7:03:23 PM): so then y are u mad exactly?
Melissa (7:04:10 PM): i realli dunno but i have ben soo depressed lateli
Melissa (7:04:33 PM): and this jamie thing reaaaalli isnt important butt elijah was a part of it ya kno
iamjustagoldfish (7:04:41 PM): i feel bad but thats no excuse for disrespecting me
Melissa (7:04:53 PM): i apologized
iamjustagoldfish (7:05:13 PM): ok
Melissa (7:05:23 PM): and i realli am sorryyy but all i sed was that u and elijah have nothing in common
iamjustagoldfish (7:05:23 PM): so watz wrong thatz making u depressed
Melissa (7:05:29 PM): do u think u do?
iamjustagoldfish (7:06:04 PM): yea but he's too immature, and totally not sophisticated.
Melissa (7:06:25 PM): i agree but hes a kool fren
Melissa (7:06:34 PM): u c make him ur fren b4 ur boyfren!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa (7:06:36 PM): u should have
iamjustagoldfish (7:06:46 PM): that's my decision
Melissa (7:06:54 PM): becuz 2 weeeks intot he friendship u may have seen that he will not make a good boyfren
iamjustagoldfish (7:07:06 PM): lol werd but that's all my decision
Melissa (7:07:31 PM): okki dok
Melissa (7:07:38 PM): so did u make a bad decision?
iamjustagoldfish (7:08:06 PM): i don't think i did cuz if we were just friends i would have never seen how horrible a boyfriend he is
iamjustagoldfish (7:08:24 PM): he's not a bad friend n i would have dated him anyway
iamjustagoldfish (7:08:52 PM): so im glad i just got him overwith
Melissa (7:09:01 PM): ooo i c butttt mayb if u had more privacy y dont u 2 hang like u did in the beggining?
iamjustagoldfish (7:09:51 PM): no because he gets all defensive with my friends and he's tooo untrusting of me, and he treats me with such disrespect that i have no desire to hang out with him
iamjustagoldfish (7:10:09 PM): that and im stuck paying for all the dates cuz he's a bum and won't get a job
iamjustagoldfish (7:10:40 PM): i deserve better
and i
iamjustagoldfish (7:10:47 PM): sure as hell can get better
Melissa (7:10:55 PM): so no frenzzz?
Melissa (7:11:09 PM): wat exactli do u want him as?
iamjustagoldfish (7:11:10 PM): yea frenz
iamjustagoldfish (7:11:30 PM): i don't hate him but im not gonna put up with his shit
iamjustagoldfish (7:11:40 PM): and if we're just friends i won't have to deal with it
Melissa (7:11:47 PM): oo okk so y dont u invite urself to his house and u2 can just watchh tv or watever
iamjustagoldfish (7:12:07 PM): nah he's no fun to hang with
iamjustagoldfish (7:12:29 PM): he can come with me and other people places but i don't wanna hang alone with him cuz he's a total drag
Melissa (7:13:16 PM): hsahahahaha
Melissa (7:13:24 PM): so theres ur answer
iamjustagoldfish (7:13:27 PM): n im not paying for him anymore
Melissa (7:13:28 PM): take him to that comedy club
iamjustagoldfish (7:13:39 PM): nah cuz he's broke n im not paying for him
Melissa (7:13:47 PM): hahahaahahaha u do too much for him
iamjustagoldfish (7:14:11 PM): besides he punched andrewsophomoie year cuz andrew asked for his book back cuz he loanded it to elijah
iamjustagoldfish (7:14:20 PM): and elijah admits to being mean to people for no reason
iamjustagoldfish (7:14:35 PM): basically the guy is a loser and i never call ANYONE a loser
iamjustagoldfish (7:14:59 PM): i have decided that E is smart but he is totally worthless to the advancement of society
Melissa (7:15:48 PM): niceeeee
Melissa (7:16:00 PM): so ok rite now wat do u want from him?
iamjustagoldfish (7:16:26 PM): an apology, a real sincere one.
iamjustagoldfish (7:16:42 PM): not one of his half ass ones that put all the blame on me
Melissa (7:17:10 PM): an apology from him rite?
Melissa (7:17:16 PM): cuz i gave u mine and it was sincere
Melissa (7:17:22 PM):
iamjustagoldfish (7:17:36 PM): yeyeye i want it in person hunnie
Melissa (7:18:54 PM): from me yea tmrew
iamjustagoldfish (7:19:19 PM): werd
Melissa (7:19:43 PM): werd up
Melissa (7:19:45 PM): lolol
iamjustagoldfish (7:19:59 PM): lol yea
Melissa (7:20:54 PM): well besides E who else u like?
iamjustagoldfish (7:25:01 PM): well i like a few people, but u don't know them. And i DON"t like E, not like that anyway. To be honest i'd rather be alone than with him. I'd rather be turned into a pile of orange jello for eternity for that matter. But i am talking to a few guys who are friends but maybe we can be more. LOL but nothing serious in the near future.
Melissa (7:25:26 PM): he seesss how u adore moo
Melissa (7:25:32 PM): we all seee
Melissa (7:25:38 PM): and mo is hottt butt aken :9
Melissa (7:25:42 PM):
iamjustagoldfish (7:25:58 PM): lol i don't adore moo. we just happen to be close friends.
iamjustagoldfish (7:26:08 PM): but we're not attracted to each other
iamjustagoldfish (7:26:23 PM): we just have a lot of family probs in common
Melissa (7:26:24 PM): o i kno
iamjustagoldfish (7:26:43 PM): lol it's not anyone who goes to wagner.
iamjustagoldfish (7:28:50 PM): who i mite date
Melissa (7:29:15 PM): oo u and moo have fam probs in common?
iamjustagoldfish (7:30:11 PM): some we can talk to each other
iamjustagoldfish (7:30:16 PM): we also write poetry
Melissa (7:30:25 PM): me2siesssssss
iamjustagoldfish (7:30:32 PM): werd
LOL some people are soooooo dumb.
Work is getting better and better. Im working every day of the week now (m-f) and this fri i have a half day so im working the whole day! werd! On payday im going to be ROLLING in cash! *flips*
~Figgie ouT
Hmmmm, iggy....
I met this NYU dude named "iggy" from petri dish. He's a real interesting photographer. LOL me majors in Webbie design thingys. He made up this funky lil computer game with his hamster it's cute. He IMd me late last night. LOL made my life a lil better.
Work was cool today. There's this new girl Leah working there now. She's a cool chick. She's like 18 or something.
LOL i can't wait till i get paid. I saw this adorable shirt at wet seal. I MUST have it!
I kept falling asleep in school. Yea i stayed up till 11'30 last night talking to Iggy, but for a chick my age that shouldn't be that big of a deal! GRRR! and i didn't even wake up! i was literally falling asleep in every one of my classes! And i even slept late this morning! GRRRRR! I need to invest in some serious caffiene beverages. They sell caffienated water. Sounds good cuz coffe is badd for my vocalness. And i sing in the morning. Werd i shall have to locate some now. **flips**
~figgiE ouT
Have you ever just wanted to dissapear? To change? Or to even die? Have you ever just wanted to kill yourself? Bleed away to nothing? I haven't. Never. I'm at home now and all hell has literally broken loose. It's never been this bad before. Why during all this do i have no desire to dissapear? Because why should i miss out on life? Why should i when i did nothing wrong? And believe me, if i had done something to provoke this maddness, i would admit to it. I do stupid shit all the time, but this time, this time is different. I don't wish to be a normal kid, i just wish i had normal parents. Ones who don't talk down to me, or are constantly competing with me, ones who don't mock me, or throw things at me, or think im some problem or disease. My mom just told my brother that i tried to kill her. seriously people. I can't even kill a fly. Do you honestly think i'd kill a person?
And they lie about what they did. They'll lie to my face and say that they never hit me. That they never kicked me out. They never threw things at me and that they never insulted me, or yelled at me. They say this to my face!!! Let someone give me a lie detector test. I'll show what the truth is!!
My parents never let me talk, or explain my side of the story. They gang up on me. It's like im some evil force that must be defeated.
My parents don't let me talk because they know im right. They yell at me for "overreacting" when im the one talking quietly and their screaming and blowing their tops. And they're always sarcastic. ALWAYS!! I almost wish i wasn't so anti-hate, cuz then i could hate them. They deserve to be hated. why the fuck do i feel sympathy for these people? why the fuck do i still care? damnit! why do i have to be so fucking nice! For once i wanna slam a door in their face, or throw a can of dog food at them, or take their stuff from their room and throw it outside. why not? when do i get to be mean for no reason to them? when can i kick them out?
I feel like screaming right now. My day was going so good. Just 2 hours ago i was perfectly happy, and doing what i wanted to, and just chillin! And now? Now my parents have taken away my humanity and made me into a problem. Well fuck them. Yea that's right, FUCK THEM!!!
~Figgie out
Hehehehe. I like my job. I get paid to sit there and look pretty, and to answer the occasional phone.
Danbo105 (6:31:36 PM): The real Queen Latifa died in a knife fight with nelson mandela, now there is a robot clone in her place, but dont tell anybody
iamjustagoldfish (6:31:50 PM): my lips are sealed
^^^^^^^ are my friends weird or are they weird.
Before i left for work, i had to deal with another one of abe's we must kill all the arabs rampages. **rolls eyes**
Work was cool today. they gave me candy :-). What is it about me that gives people this uncontrolable urge to feed me? i really don't understand. It's like i go to work and my boss is like here rachel! eat! and i go to andy's house and it's the same thing. And i go to darylann's house and she's like rachel eat this now! lol i even get fed during class! Do i like look hungry or something? cuz it's not like im asking for food. I mean yea i love food, but i don't advertise it. Whatever, i'm not complaining or anything, im just wondering why.
I just got back from voice lessons. Im rocking the PieJesu! *dances* ::shock:: hehehehe
~Figgie out
Last night, the reality check thing was kick ass. I am the supreme ruler of guerilla warfare. I was born for it. If i ever have to do it, i'll come out alive and with about 90 dead bodies. Free food, free lazer tag, free virtual reality, free batting cages, and free cake, all paid for by your NY state tax dollars. Oh yea... don't smoke. Coming up with reality check. free ice skating, free movies, and free gear (tshirts, hats, keychains, CDholders, whatever!) Hehehehehe yes the state spends sooo much money on dumb things like this, but hey! If i can take advantage of the state I'm all for it baby!!
Androo got free tickets to THE COMEDY CLUB!! This saturday night! SCORE!!! WOOOOT! lol im definitely stoaked! I forgot who is performing there that night, but i know that he's famous. OOOO i gotta get some chill threads! MMhmmm! And some bling bling dog! Why am i talking like a negro? **hits self** i am never going to do that again. Holla!!! *throws self out window*
I have 2 barmitzvahs to go to this weekend **gaggs** i don't want to go, i don't even like the kids, but i have to. *damn*
I left school early cuz i was just soooo drowsy and out of it. I'm eating oroes right now.
Marlins won the first world seris game. Yankees won last night.
I joined a forum called Writerforum.com it's majorly kick ass. I can read stories and write them and i enjoy it soooo much! I have found my place in the web!! w00t!
~Figgie out
~went to the college fair
*saw some cool colleges
~went to the mall
*ate Mcdonalds
--some guy was hitting on me from his van while i was walking back to androo's house, gave me his number, i pretended i was a lesbian named germaine--
~Got invited to the lazer tag party reality check is having @ funstation
*by androo
~Watched Mr. Show DVD
*loved it
~Elijah called me and royally insulted me
*got the nerve to hang up on him
~He called back
*i hung up again
Now i am here. Now what shall i do? will i dance for you? or in awe of you be still? Mercy me.
Painful with ease stabbing with
Joy and delight desires with no shame
Fear not of the unknown
but what is already proven
Tired
Bored
Lost out but checked in
Diva Devil Dining Daily
eyes that envied Hentai
Not quite a stereotype, but not
Unique in the slightest
Not at all the way intended
Purple stars folded seeing all in
Green ghosts and pale hearts
Windswept yes
but still all me
Androo (11:10:24 PM): How would you describe me in one sentence? In all honesty.
iamjustagoldfish (11:11:17 PM): with pleasure.
iamjustagoldfish (11:12:52 PM): Windswept is his mind, and of all the spirits that have come to be, this one is devine.
Androo (11:13:03 PM): sweeeeet
iamjustagoldfish (11:13:16 PM): i agree
my shadow has crossed me one too many times today.
I am resting too many times without a reason or an answer why.
Waivered for my skin but not my ease or faith.
Welcomed not for what i can do, just for the will to create.
Historically misplaced
Extrodinarally twin faced
Tears and fears and theories of the deepening heart
Viva the wounded soul
Right now i'm listening to "i can only imagine" by mercy me. It's a Christian song but i can't help but crying when i hear it. It's soo beautiful. I was hooked on it when i first heard it. There's a special kind of faith in this song, it's the kind of faith you'll only find in Christianity. "Will i sing Halleluja, will i be able to speak at all? I can only imagine..." Werd.
Anyways, Tha yankees win! Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yankees win!Hehehehehehe. I didn't post an entry yesterday because i had to be at work at 11:30, i normally wouldn't have gone in that early, but Rachel needs the money. anyways I'm happy the Yankees won. Yes I am a Mets fan , and no I'm not a "frontrunner". I don't really vare much about this world seris except for the fact that this can be very benificial to the city's economy. LOL the Marlins are in it too. That's my Grandfathers team. Talk about a house divided!!
During workk Elijah came and brought me lunch. I thougt that was sweet. He said he was going to go get a job. I sure hope he gets one. Hopefully at that wendys. I want free food.
Last night i officially joined the Communist Party, USA.
Ooooo! More Madrigal news! Not only are we doing that thing with LaBoheme, we're also singing at the mall during Christmas, we're singing at "HighSchoolNight" (for incoming freshmen), and we're also doing this thing with singing and food at Project Hospitality. No offense to Postel, but he never was that public with us. LOL he's still my favorite teacher tho... or is he? MADD MUSICAL CONFUSION!!!
I was up really late last night. I'm hungry. So food then sleep.
~Figgie out
I just heard on the news that the capitan who crashed the ferry into staten island didn't take his medication that day and his lack of medication caused him to black out which resulted in a broken boat, a broken dock, and broken hearts of the family and friends of those killed. I also learned that that night that capitan slit his wrists and shot himself in the head with a BB gun. Now I know this sounds insensitive and cruel and all that but; if you need to take medication to drive a ferry safely, then take the damn stuff! People say he tried to take his life because he killed people. Please! He should take his life just for being that stupid!! Something that simple took the lives of so many! It makes me sad.
~Figgie out
It's funny how you can be so convinced of this one thing, and then something happens and what you were convinced of is now totally wrong. I hate it when that happens cuz then i have to think everything over again that applied to that thing, and then change those. LOL I swear my mind is like a windows 98 system. Everything i know or think is in different hard to find folders. LOL windows 98 beta at best.
The think i was conviced of was that i had to break up with Elijah. I was convinced of that until he was waiting for me after work and we went to the mall so he could apply for a job and he was nice and all that. Now im not sure whether i should or not. Half of me says yes the other half says no, and there's a third half somewhere that says i want some cake. WHAT SHOULD I DO!!(?????)
I saw the prettiest monarch butterfly in the treestock (the name me n my buddies gave to that foresty thingy behind that St. Elizabeth old people place next to wagner) it was all flying around and then landing on things and then flying around again. Butterflies always facinate me. And those monarch ones are soooooo pretty looking. I almost wanted to fly around with it, but alas i do not have wings. (or antenae, or 6 legs but whatever)
I keep getting this stupid spam shizz in my e-mail box. I mean really! Do i look like i need a penis enlarger?
~Figgie out
**exhales** everyone is ok
I was going to write so much today. I was writing everything down that i was going to put in here, and it was pages and pages long. Then it turned 3:20 and the SI ferry crashed into SI. 15 people so far have died. And now all that i have written seems so small and almost worth nothing. Tragedys like this really put the whole world into perspective.
Ooooo! Madrigal Choir! Wonderful News! In madrigal choir today ms. piarella said that we are going to do the chorus part of LaBoheme for the richmond county orchestra's orchestral performance of LaBoheme (gag) maybe i could stick in one of my "they call me mimi" songs lol. Hehehe well anyways i think it's cool.
Lots of people have been asking me lately whi i don't get contact lenses. I actually have a simple reason for that. Glasses, my glasses are part of my personality, w/o my glasses i just wouldn't be rachel! :-P
I didn't go to bed until midnite last nite. I got one of those fowardy chain mail thingies from a friend. I normally just delete those without thinking, but i was totally bored so what the hell. I opened it and it was kinda what i expected, answer all of the questions and then forward it to 30 people or I'll die (lol but by the rate i delete those things i should have been dead about um... well... today! Oh fuck.) Well anyway i didn't forward it because that would be irritating for the recipients. And i do enuf irritating things to begin with! But i did answer the questions if anyone would care to read.
Spell your first name backwards]: lechaR
[How old?]: 17
[Where do you live?]: Staten Island New York
DESCRIBE YOUR:
[Wallet]: It's brown with little flower things on it
[Jewelry worn daily]: my rainbow anklet
[Shoes]: none
[Handbag]: black messenger bag
[Perfume/Cologne]: Strawberry cream
[Piercings]: none (i don't believe in bodily mutilation)
[What you are wearing now]: my rainbow anklet
[Makeup]:i hate makeup i only wear it when i have to
[In my mouth]: ...chicken
[In my head]: my brain
[Wishing]: I was with Dan so i can make sure everythings ok
[Talking to]: Matt
[Eating] : leftover chicken
[Some of your favorite movies]: don't really have a favorite movie...
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: August 11th i turn 18! LOL and I'm going to PRico Christmas.
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: flying things (except butterflies, those are ok)
[Do you believe in love]: All the time
[Do you believe in soul mates]: Sure why not?
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: no
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: occaisonally
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a goat!
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: myself
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: Not really...
In the last 24 hours, have you:
[Cried?]: Yes, i cry all the time
[Bought something?]: Yes, Lunch
[Gotten sick]: Asthma + Allergies = SICK
[Sang?]: Yes, this morning with my madrigal choir and this afternoon when no one was home
[Eaten?]: um... CHICKEN! WHy do you keep asking me what i am eating? It's Chicken Damnit! CHICKENNNN!
[Been kissed?] **thinks**
[Felt stupid?]: I always feel stupid. lmao
[Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didnt?] i always express how i feel
[Met someone new?]: I am forever meeting new people
[Moved on?]: long time ago
[Talked to an ex?]: Not recently...in fact i don't even know where that asshole is...hes probably raping 12 year old girls somewhere...that or he jumped off a cliff and died...
[Missed an ex?]: *bursts out laughing while water spurts all over the place*
[Talked to someone you have a crush on?]: of course
[Had a serious talk?]: with Hillel? ^-^ *nod*
[Hugged someone?]: ...0_0; duh...
[Fought with your parents?]: it never stops!!!!
[Dreamed about someone you can't be with?]: once...i think...no wait that was cheese...
Social Life:
[Boyfriend/Girlfriend?]: *nod* ^-^
[What type automobile do you drive?]: none..
[What type automobile do you wish you drove?]: I'm happy with my skateboard
[Would you rather be with friends or on a date?]: how bout both?
[Where is the best hangout?]: shit...i dunno
[Do you have a job?]: OMG! i thought you said 'Do you give hand jobs!?" holy mother fuck...wow...no more porn sites for me
[Do you like being around people?]: only when theyre not stupid
[Do you wish you could be more like ?]: Do I wish i could be more like a question mark?
Who:
[Have you known the longest]: My Parents
[Do you argue the most with?]: ^^^^^^^^^
[Do you wish you could be with?]: Sure! I would love to be with a question mark...lol i wish i cold chill with Andy
[Is the most trustworthy?]: Smootie!
[Makes you laugh the most?]: Darylanna
[Has been there through all the hard times?]: Matt and Andy
[Has the coolest parents?]: my yet to be born children
[Has the coolest siblings?]: My brother
[Is the most outgoing?]: Matt and Angelo
[Is the best looking?]: Uh... ME!
[Is the most talented?]: Me...yea sad to say i am...lol
Personal:
[Who is your role model?]: no one really...
[Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?]:Don't we all?
[Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?]: Thats a VERY stupid question
[Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?]: mmmhm
[Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?]: *grabs the dull spoons...*
[Rather be dumper or dumped?]: Both of them are BAD!
[Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?]: Relationship.
[Want someone you don't have right now?]: don't we all?
[Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?]: haven't we all **looks around empty room**
[Do you want to get married?]: ^_^ *shrugs*
[Do you want kids?]: definitely! I love goats!
[Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?]: I sure hope not!
[What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?]: my eyes (they're hazel)
[What is your favorite part of your emotional being?]: ...say wha?
[Are you happy with you?]: When i need to be
[Are you happy with your life?]: Yes i am but nothing is set in stone...the only thing that is definate in my life is my death day.
[If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?]: I would eat more cake.
[what is the one thing that you will alyaws find true happiness in?]: Ohh now that's a tough one. Do we ever know what true happiness is until we lose lose it or something? *thinks* *soul searches* Blueberry Shampoo
~Figgie out
Hehehehe Today was fun.
Elijah called this morning, asking if wanted to go to Brooklyn with him, but his version of morning is around 1pm so i had already made plans with Andy to go see kill bill. So i said we can either do something tonite, or you can come with us (cuz andy was bringing PJ and dave too) but he was like fuck it i wanna go to brooklyn why don't we just hang on wednesday. So i was like yea ok.
Kill Bill was the greatest movie ever. The way tarantino put it together was awsome. The plot kept you watching, the animation towards the middle of the movie was kick ass, and the scene where the sheriff was driving up to the house and all of his sunglasses in different tint colors was all lined up on the bottom made the scene cooler to watch! And the scene when "beep" (her name was beeped out of the movie for plot purposes, but i can read lips and it is something that sounds like Beatrice) and O-ren Inichii are fighting in a Japanese garden in Tokyo with samurai swords, while it is lightly snowing, with the focus on a water pump in the lower right hand line of view is kick ass. There was just so much in the movie that i definitely have to go and see it again. It's one of those movies where you will never get tired of watching. There was this really cool fight scene that was seen in total black and white. Woah. This is going to be the next pulp fiction. I can feel it.
Anyway, afterwords we walked to taco bell and got sick off of it. hehehehehe.
Then i had voice lessons. It was arite... i bought this really kick ass opera book with all of these songs for sopranos (that's me!!)
~Figgie Out!
OMG! LAST NIGHT!!
Oh shit do i have a friggin story to tell! I didn't see Elijah Saturday b/c i went to bear mountain. So anyways, he calls all madd n shit saying i never called him (which i DID numerous times from my cell phone) and he kept calling me a liar and saying i was cheating on him (which i WASN'T.. those who know me would know that i would NEVER cheat on ANYONE not matter how much they deserved it) So anyway he says he's gonna come by so we can chill so i say yea cool. So we go bowling. About 2 minutes into our second game Billy calls. Billy is a really good friend of mine i became aquainted with in 8th grade (Looooooooooong story) He's a junior in St. Peter's Jesuit College studying to be a priest. Anyways he calls my cell because he was returing a call cuz i called him that morning asking some catholic question, and i told him that i was out bowling with my boyfriend Elijah. So he says o ok cool, and then elijah is like who are you talking to, and i'm like my friend billy called do you wanna say hi to him (cuz i ALWAYS have my friends yell hi into the phone whenever i get a call and im with them)
so Elijah takes the phone from me
"If you fuckin come near my girlfriend I'll hunt you down and kill you"
and he was saying it in a really mean voice, but i thought he was joking or something so i said
"Elijah, he's studying to be a friggin catholic priest.!"
(he continued yelling at and threatining him)
"Arite Elijah very funny but the jokes dead gimme back my phone"
so he throws the phone back at me, so i get back on with billy apologizing about what Elijah did and Elijah is yelling in the backround how i probably just said he was a priest because i was cheating on him and was caught in my lie, and that he's going to find him and stick his head on his beadpost, and i was like arite Elijah cool it, and he got all flipped out and yelled
"why would anyone want to become a priest, is he doing it for the little boys?"
"Elijah just please stop it"
"Is he gay cuz he'd have to be to swear off sex forever"
"Oh please elijah it's not like you get any to begin with"
So he flips out even more saying
"how dare you say that"
"Well you're not"
"That's what you think!"
'Unless you're sleeping with someone i don't know about then yea you're not getting any"
(cuz he sure as fuck never got any from this chica!)
So i hung up with Billy and i was like What the hell was that E?
"I knew you were cheating on me!"
"First of all he's just a friend, second of all, he's a friggin priest."
'What the hell type of person would become a priest?"
'That's my friend you're talking about!"
And he started cursing about Billy and me.
"Oh please he's just a friend! Don't you have friends who are female who are just friends?"
"yea of course i do."
'Ok so i don't carry on like you are about your female friends!"
"Yea i know u don't"
"So how come you are then allowed to have female friends but i'm not allowed to have male friends?"
"Cuz i'm a man."
"You gotta be kidding me!"
"I don't want you hanging out with any guys while I'm not there!"
"How could yell at Billy like that you don't even know the guy"
"i don't have to know him, I'm gonna kill him anyway"
"how would you like that if i ever pulled that shit on one of your female friends?"
"I wouldn't give a shit"
"So if i was to do what you did right now to one of your friends you wouldn't care"
"Yea I would but i wouldn't over react like you are!"
(I'M over reacting????) I admit i sometimes have a temper but considering what he as just done i was VERY calm.
"YOU think I'm over reacting?"
"And how dare you say I'm not getting any, you only think I'm not getting any. I can't fucking believe you said that" (he is yelling all of this)
"Who the fuck do you think you are!!"
"It's you're fucking turn" (referring to the bowling)
So we bowl and he spent the rest of the game either saying something negative about me, billy, or catholicism (and yes, i do have issues with the catholic church, but when it comes to billy i would run infront of a moving car for him, and he would do the same for me so i was madd extra pissed) At the end of the game, he was trying to be all apologetic, but as you could imagine i wasn't gonna hear anything from that SOB. So we go and sit outside the alley and he kept apologizing and telling me to forgive him and then i would explain my point of view and then he would start insulting and cursing again, and then i would be all like:
"what is wrong with you today"
"well are you going to forgive me or not"?
"You apologize and then you do again what you apologized for in the forst place"
"what else do you want me to say! I've said all i can say!"
"whatever"
"yea right whatever I'm sick of this shit"
He gets up to walk away, as he is walking i get my cellphone out of my pocket and start to dial my house so i can get a ride home. As i am dialing he comes back.
"Baby Baby don't call anyone I'm so so sorry"
"You've got to be kidding me"
"Baby Baby I'm serious I'm sorry I didn't realize what i was doing, i don't know what came over me"
I'll tell you what came over him, he thought that if he walked away i would run after him or something. HA! That's funny. hahahahahahahahaha.
"Elijah, you can't treat people like this"
"I know baby I'm sorry"
"No! I'm serious you don't treat people like the way you just did, not only did you disrespect Billy, but you disrespected me too, and i don't tolerate disrespect from anybody"
"Baby I love you"
"Well If you love me like you say i do--"
"Like I say I do? What are you sayin" (he is saying this with a raised voice")
"First off don't you dare raise your voice at me, second of If you love me like you say you do, you wouldn't have pulled what you pulled in there, and you would know that i would never cheat on you."
"You're overreacting!"
"I'm overreacting. Okay so if someone disrespects my friend, me, and insults or ignores me during the last bowling game, and then after apologizing pulls the same shit he apologized for, and then yelling and walking away, i should just sit there, be happy and forget about it?"
"Exactly"
"Ha. You're funny. No"
There was a problem with the permits needed to film the movie tomorrow, so i will be going to school. So that means I'll see Elijah. We're not fighting anymore. That isn't to say that the issue is resolved or forgotten, i was just so tired and drained and just plain sick of fighting with him that i was just like yea whatever when he asked if we could put this behind us.
~Figgie Out
So many people are asking me the definitions of words that i use in normal conversation. I think it's cool that i kinda have my own lingo type thing. It's like a rachel language. i love studying slang from different time periods and regions. and from this study i picked up a few words and started using them. LOL yea it sounds like i'm either nuts or have too much time on my hands, but who cares what you think. So anyway at the request of some people i am posting here some slang words i use and what i mean by them.
Maxwell- gay man
Carpet- butch lesbian
Kronkite- guy
Moby- Dick (not the book people)
Liquid- in a serious relationship and/or sleeping together (i.e. are you and mike liquid?)
Eating Skittles- A homosexual relationship (skittles? taste the rainbow? they taste like fruit? get it?) as in james and paul are eating skittles.
CK1- a bisexual person
Stacy's Mom- An attractive older woman
Rainbow Junkie- A straight person who only has gay friends
AI- Artificial Intellegence, a natural blonde who dyes her hair brown
J-Lo Perfume- a cheep hotel soap smell as in "she smells like JLo perfume" suggesting that the person smelling like that is a prostitute.
White Raisin- A Muslim Extremist
Living on front street- Someone who is a fake, fraud (i.e. he is livin on front street)
Phrygian Bastard- A snobby musician
Supreme Court Justices- People who engage in gay sex (as in they're supreme court justices)
Out of order- Celibate (as in she's out of order)
Tassle- Straight Girl
Pippo- Overweight
Angry Native- Protesters
The Neighborhood- Hollywood
The Tube- Soverign Power (as in Fidel Castro has the tube)
The True meaning of christmas- the moral of the story, the point (i.e. so what's the true meaning of christmas?)
Fetal Fighters- Right-to-lifers
ShowerShock- The sudden loss of hot water while bathing
LifeForce- Caffine
Flavorless- a straight person (i.e. John is flavorless)
NeoCrunch- A Modern Hippie
PoLit- A person who is smarter and more mature than his/her age group
E String- Someone who whines alot
Pocket- Hypocrit
~Figgie out
I woke up at around 8:30 today, i didn't get out of bed untill 10. It's not that i was really tired or anything, i just couldn't find a good enough reason to get out of bed. **yawns** this thing finally got me up :-)
Nobody worth talking to is online right now, so i put an away message up, i'll be notified if someone cool comes on... :-P I have a feeling im gonna spend a good part of my day online or something. My room is the only warm room in the house, every other room i go to is freezing cold! hehehehehe now i don't mind chillin in my room!
My mom is going somewhere with some temple person today so she's gonna be off my back for a while....
I might hang out with Billy tomorrow. I really want to chill in Central Pk with hiim and a bunch of peoples. Once i'm a lil mmore awake i'll call some peoples.
Warm autumn days are probably my favorite. Seeing all the leaves turn and feeling the soft breeze, being surrounded by all of the warm oragnes and reds and golden yellows, you almost swear you can smell pumkin pies and cinnamon and nutmeg. I've always loved october and november because of that. I'm always happy in the autumn months no matter how much everything else sucks. **smiles** I'm feeling poetic.
~Figgie Out
~Excerpts of the daily conversings of the Figgie Fish and the H~
iamjustagoldfish (8:30:55 PM): lol i had the nuttiest dream last night n you were in it
Hillel- (8:31:14 PM): cool! i;m never in anyones dream
iamjustagoldfish (8:34:11 PM): lol you were in a hotel room hiding cuz you stole all of my shoes and i was trying to get them back, and then you tell me your suing the vatican for 4million dollars for kidney surgery you had when you were little. Then my brother walks in with my dog and sez that i have to go home because these giant smurfs were coming.
Hillel- (8:34:34 PM): lol
Hillel- (9:00:35 PM): this is the dawning of the age of aquarius
iamjustagoldfish (9:00:40 PM): i know!!!
iamjustagoldfish (9:00:51 PM): i was listening to the song juss now!
Hillel- (9:01:03 PM): no way!
no way
iamjustagoldfish (9:01:13 PM): yesyesyes!
iamjustagoldfish (9:01:26 PM): n i was singing along and all that
iamjustagoldfish (9:01:30 PM): werd!
Hillel- (9:01:34 PM): ohmygod!
iamjustagoldfish (9:01:40 PM): what?
Hillel- (9:01:49 PM): squeal! that's awesome
iamjustagoldfish (9:01:55 PM): yea?
Hillel- (9:02:12 PM): yeah i mean how cool is that. I was thinkin just that.
iamjustagoldfish (9:02:20 PM): werd!
iamjustagoldfish (9:02:37 PM): lol madd psychic connectionings!
Hillel- (9:03:05 PM): yup!
iamjustagoldfish (9:03:57 PM): that was weird lol are you like hiding under my bed?
iamjustagoldfish (9:04:02 PM): **looks under bed**
iamjustagoldfish (9:04:05 PM): nope
Hillel- (9:05:02 PM): :P
Hillel- (9:05:08 PM): ;P
iamjustagoldfish (9:05:11 PM):
Hillel- (9:05:15 PM): yeah
iamjustagoldfish (9:05:26 PM): hehehehe ok now im totally smiling
Hillel- (9:05:41 PM): u see?
iamjustagoldfish (9:06:01 PM): see you hiding in my closet?
Hillel- (9:06:07 PM): I just pitched you a Hillel
iamjustagoldfish (9:06:27 PM): Score!
Today me and some of my theater peoples went hiking in bear mountain, got lost, befriended these biker people, and ended up in some oktoberfest thing.There i learned that Biker people are cool, lite beer is not. Then we were driving around eating knockworst trying to get back onto a highway and we ended up in some small hick-people town with no mcdonalds. Then we got to a hooters, but all of the hooter chicks were madd ugly and the manager kept trying to recruit me and maggie. We asked them for directions but the ones they gave us were wrong and we ended up at some apple picking place with wild turkeys running around. There we learned that if you clinb an apple tree and try to throw the apples down into a basket, you'll most likely miss the basket and hit the person holding it causing them to shake the branches you are balancing on causing you to fall out of said tree (but not miss the basket) ;i smell like applesause now as a result. And that tossing pebbles at a large group of turkeys will only make them angry and a mob of angry turkeys can prove to be very painful.
Tonite is Sukkot. Probably one of the more ridiculous holidays on the Jewish calender. It's the holiday where Jews built Gilligan's Island like straw huts and live in them for a week. No Joke. They take wood and leaves and whatever and literally built a hut out of them. Then they eat, pray, socialize and some (yes this is true) actually sleep in them. Now i don't know about you, but i find this to be extremely hilarious! Why do we partake in such a ritual? Because, 3thousand and whatever years ago our hebrew ancestors ran around the desert for fourty years while God protected them, and we're supposed to pretend that we were there (riiiiiiiiiight) and build like the swiss family robinson gone holy.
Oooo! and i forgot one more thing that we have to do on this holiday. We have to stand there and shake a tree branch around while holding this oversized lemon, all while a bunch of kids sing a prayer in a peter paul and mary sounding tune over and over and over again.
Hillel was in such a happy mood today! He definitely has this major bipolar mood swing thing going on. Cuz one day he's happy and then he's all sad and depressed and then he's all icey and then he's all hyper and it's like you can never tell how he's going to react to things. I wonder if it has something to do with the phases of the moon.
Figgie out
Someone was on my computer today. It was my brother most likely. I got home after going bowling with Elijah after school and my computer was all messed up. The backround was changed, and all of the colors are different. I don't really care if anyone uses my computer, but i absolutely hate it when they change the settings on it! It's like they're totally not respecting that it's MY computer. Whatever.
Anyways, i did go bowling with Elijah. We talk about the strangest things. We start a conversation with bowling statistics, then somehow it leads to Assemblyman Cusick's campaign stratigies during his run against Peters, then it's the marine corps, and somehow by the end of the came we're somehow discussing the percentage of heterosexual couples in the United States who engage in anal intercourse on a regular basis (about %30) and how that might effect the economy (i say positive he says negative) but enough of that. (lol indoor sports lead to sodomy?) werd.
Elijah is nutty and off the wall just like i am. i can be myself around him and he won't get weirded out. We stole a campaign sign for someone running for city council off of a lawn lol. We're nuts.
Figgie out!
Gaggles! Amid all the excitement i forgot to mention other stuff! Ahhhhnold won the election. And florida must be overjoyed! Cuz think about it! With Arnold in office in Cali, Florida is no longer the nations big embarrassment (need i say more?) So Fla is offthe hook for getting made fun of. LOL it's soooo funny tho that they elected the terminator to balance the budget. Hasta La Vista, davis. i crack myself up.
Check it out i have 2 plays in the works! One is a mockery of operas, and one is a genuinely serious theatrical thingy. LOL and you thought i couldn't write anything serious. Fvuk neither did I.
My boyfriend looks like jesus.
WAHHHOOOO!
I'm going to be in a woody allen movie. It's not a big part or anything.... but it's still cool as all hell. I'm quite glad to be working at adele's. It has good benifits. (those of you who know me know that i have a sick obsession with woody allen) When i found out i was the happiest thing on earth. Of course that was until i got home and my happiness quickly left.
I was locked out of my house (again) so i had to break in through the back (again). LOL my parents should know better about me getting into the house. LOL taking my key isn't gonna keep me out! WERD! I rock.
Work was good today as you can imagine.
I just told Chrissy online and she don't believe me! HAHAHAHA
Chrissy (8:40:02 PM): god itz you
iamjustagoldfish (8:40:21 PM): i'm going to be in a woody allen movie.
Chrissy (8:40:31 PM): what!!!
iamjustagoldfish (8:40:35 PM): i am
iamjustagoldfish (8:40:41 PM): isn't that cool?
Chrissy (8:41:13 PM): yeah im soooooooo sure your gunnna be in the movie howd you decide this???
iamjustagoldfish (8:41:33 PM): i work at an agency dumbass.
Chrissy (8:41:44 PM): so that dont mean anything
iamjustagoldfish (8:41:56 PM): wanna call my mom and ask her?
iamjustagoldfish (8:42:29 PM): im gettin paid $115 a day
Chrissy (8:42:30 PM): no i dont really care if your liein or not when you going to this sooo called movie??
iamjustagoldfish (8:42:43 PM): im not going to school tuesday
iamjustagoldfish (8:42:51 PM): im shootin then
Chrissy (8:43:03 PM): what r u supossed to be??
iamjustagoldfish (8:43:15 PM): a miusic student
iamjustagoldfish (8:43:20 PM): *music
iamjustagoldfish (8:43:28 PM): it takes place in a music school
Chrissy (8:43:40 PM): where r u shooting??
iamjustagoldfish (8:44:14 PM): Manhattan, in the west village
Chrissy (8:44:25 PM): great 4 u
iamjustagoldfish (8:44:43 PM): wats rong?
Chrissy (8:45:15 PM): nothing im just madddd pissed right now at my mother really has nothing to do wit you
iamjustagoldfish (8:45:37 PM): lol what'd she do now
Chrissy (8:46:30 PM): she getting a atttitude for no reason at all at me shes maddd at my brother but yet takes it owt on me
iamjustagoldfish (8:47:08 PM): boy do i know what that's like
Chrissy (8:47:38 PM): i dont fvckin understand her she is a fvckin crazy person i wish someone wood just kill her im serous
iamjustagoldfish (8:48:19 PM): boy do i know what that's like
Chrissy (8:48:40 PM): whhhyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
iamjustagoldfish (8:48:58 PM): boy do i know what that's like
Chrissy (8:49:09 PM): thats all you have to say!
Chrissy (8:49:20 PM):
Chrissy (8:49:23 PM):
iamjustagoldfish (8:49:25 PM): lol nah
iamjustagoldfish (8:50:03 PM): i justt know wat ur sayin remember when you came over right when my mom was kicking me out with the giant stick? at the ballgame?
Chrissy (8:50:19 PM): yeah
iamjustagoldfish (8:50:28 PM): werd u know wat im saying
Chrissy (8:51:15 PM): yupp
iamjustagoldfish (8:51:44 PM): who the fuck kicks her kid out by waving a big stick?
iamjustagoldfish (8:51:51 PM): lol
iamjustagoldfish (8:52:04 PM): our moms should go bowling
Chrissy (8:52:05 PM): lol both our moms
iamjustagoldfish (8:52:10 PM): werd
Chrissy (8:52:13 PM): i knowww
hehehehehe the things i have to deal with. Boy my parents are twisted
Figgie out
PS Miss u Liss, November 3rd 1982 - Oct. 7th 2003 lol i know ur readin
some people are nice. it's nice to know that you were thought of. like andy who brought me over a sandwich today to make sure i was ok. or hill who e-mailed me and was all nice and stuff. And even during all the stuff today, they managed to make me smile. :-) That's cool. Now i don't feel like all is lost and the world is full of hate, not while i'm still smiling.
Figgie out
PS the sandwich was great
"The 83-year-old pope had looked very weak and struggled to speak at some appearances last week, prompting a senior European Cardinal to say he was nearing his death. But despite fears for his health he went ahead with the Pompeii visit. "
When i read that article on MSNBC.com today i was soooo sad. The pope is asking us to pray for him. And ya know what? I don't believe in Christ, or the Virgin mary or anything like that, but i know a good person when i see one. The pope's heart is in a good place and even though i have some issues with the church, i have none with the pope. if all the priests and cardinals were like him, the church would be a better place. JP2 is a great dude. He'll be in my thoughts and prayers today. Not as a pope, but as a human being.
Death is such a funny thing. It just comes and goes like it's nothing. The world just keeps going on without that life. Like that life didn't matter, like that life wasn't needed. A life forgotten before it could even be remembered.
Figgie out
i don't have anything to say. It maked me kinda bummed out having the opportunity to write but then coming up with nothing. it almost seems like a wasted moment. I have time to possibly write something amazing but when i start to type all that flows from my fingertips is a long monotonous stream of nothing.
Writing is a gift, and in my head a responsibility. If my thought aren't expressed here then where will they go? Better here than in someplace or in something bad. Writing something bad or good or anything is just something i feel the need to do. It's what i do to make me feel like i contributed something to somewhere, to make me feel like my life is not a total waste. That's why i think it sucks especially for me to finally to have the time and quiet to write and then nothing to say.
I was thinking: Why the hell to they have a Flintstones Christmas special? Why the hell does Fred decorate a Christmas tree? The Flinstones show takes place in the stone age...BEFORE the birth of Christ. How can you have a CHRISTmas with no CHRIST???????? grrrrrr.....
Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said, "George, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful and on top of every building, there was a beautiful banner."
Bush asked, "What was on the banner?"
Saddam responded, "It said Allah is God, and God is Allah."
Bush said, "You know, Saddam, I'm really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war. It had been completely rebuilt, and on every building there was also a beautiful banner."
Saddam said, "What was on the banner?"
Bush replied, "I really don't know. I don't read Hebrew."
i found a poem i wrote a long while ago. It made me think, like about who i was then, and who i am now, and how different those two Rachels are. Anyways this is the poem...
A Poem i wrote
What can i say?
what can i say
the masses flee away gone
quick merciless dead
that sinned their ways through
time space, a continuum
of lies and skies so bloody red
Panic, whisk, sudden a life meanders by
and the earth seeps open wider
Pandora's box broken
Before a work spoken
stumbling into and beside her
Too disturbing in the dark
to provoke a solitary spark
that can laugh from twenty miles away
only in the aftermath
to much for any belifs wrath
too long too late
What can i say?
Arrows point
the crowd forms
individuality dies at the door
a single shot rings through
simple, a shiny killer new
the save looks up
he still wants more.
Fear floats through dainty bright
Almost pleasing in nature
too unexpected to be resurrected
so sad there still is no cure
THEY'RE CRAZY MAD and nothing more
their bodies burning smell of lust
High flying personas
saw demons at night
a loving angry thrust.
starving, dying, gone, done
What can i say?
That was their only son.
Try to believe
Live not to deceive
Crazy Mad
Insane to the touch
Death to their pardon
Stars falling
too much too much
Their glowing dust
and filthy trust
Defeat tedious chores
Tissues wipe away silently
the tears of the bloody whores
Higher on Euphoria's daze
Televised media devils
desecrated society's ignorant craze
Who yelled sanctuary only
to die away after
Choked after their confession
And wasted away to laughter
And sing the words and depression
Who don't want to die
but live in recession
what can i say?
I wittnessed our future
Released posions to behavior
left to crude
and what ensued
and what the hell is it all for?
Come take me away
sail down beneath the sea
to the bottom of the bottom
of the soul inside of me
i see your thoughts, and besides the costs
the currency of angels is all i have now.
What can i say?
The time of enlightenment should be now.
Behold a doctrine has been set
Through the days and the ways
of my very last regret
What can i say?
What can i say?
My life is evaporating
before my very eyes to fall
What can i say?
Nothing, Nothing at all.
woah, i wonder what i was thinking when i wrote that one. Itsn't it weird how people think that they're just one person? True I might be one person now, but i was so many other "people" in the past. I'm curious, of all the "people" i was, which one will represent me in the end? **thinks**
Figgie out